WARNING: This post is not edited or changed in any way. It may offend some, this is not my intent in any way. For those of you who truly know me this is not for you. I know who you are and am thankful everyday for you in my life. The last paragraph is for one person in particular. I know how you are feeling and you need to know that is not the way my life is!
I have to rant from a minute or two...Recently I have been enlightened on the way that some people view me. I really don't understand how two totally different people can view me in two totally different ways. One of them thinks that I am not very moral. One of them thinks that I am holier then Thou. I am myself all the time. I never try to be different around different groups. I had a boyfriend that whoever he was with...that is who he became. This drove me crazy. I thought how pathetic that you change everything about yourself to please someone else. He would even listen to different music with one than he would with the other. It was sad. I have always been able to be me. This is one thing that I have liked about myself.
The other day a friend of mine whom I truly respect made a comment about me having something off color on my blog...I was mortified. I wanted to know what is was so that I could take it off. Her response was just that is Megan being Megan. Like I actually like things that are wrong. OUCH! There is something about me that she doesn't know...and in a way she judged me pretty harshly.
Then on the opposite spectrum because I go to church, don't go boating on Sunday stuff like that another girl thinks I am self righteous. She has made comments that are very rude about me thinking I am like Christ. First off I am far from that and second off the blasphemy bothers me completely.
How can I come across so differently to two women? Both judgments I don't like. Neither one is the way that I view myself.
There isn't much out there that can offend me...maybe someone could take that as my moral compass is off. I don't get shocked by things but this in no way means that I think sin is okay and that I would promote it.
On the other end...I love the gospel. I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I will never be ashamed of this. I have a knowledge that they are real. I feel of them daily. I am so grateful for this blessing in my life. I hope that this never comes off as me feeling like I am better than. I am human I make mistakes...far too many I might add. I will never be perfect in this life...and if you truly know me you would know that I don't think I am better than you by any means.
We all have our own challenges, and I can't judge yours anymore than you should judge mine. Only I know how I feel and what I truly think. I hope if I have ever made anyone feel bad that you can know that I am truly sorry. Most likely I don't know because if I did it would eat at me. I have gone over this for weeks now. I needed to vent my frustrations.
Another thing...my blog only highlights my good times. Once in a while I will put something like this on, but for the most part it is the good moments. You will not hear about Jeron and me fighting(which we do), you will not hear the level in which I yell at my kids(which I do), you will not hear how many times a day I swear(which I do), you will not hear how my house is messy(which it is). My life is not sunshine and roses all the time. If you are reading my blog this is not all there is to me. I have bad times, horrible times, and maybe I will post about them but most likely not. So quit hearing birds chirping and sweet melody playing when you think of my "perfect life". Don't compare your worst self to my best self.
12 comments:
Megan...I think you are great...I love your kids...I love your family...you are amazing...just thought I would let you know...
seriously judgements are the worst. even though we all are not immune to them . . . they still hurt. and come on people EVERYONE just posts the good on their blogs for the most part. we always want to remember the good. And people should just not compare because we all are amazing in our own ways and terrible in that respec too. Well I hope your venting helped!! I know my vents always do!
How did you not mention a word of this when we talked last night? You truly are an amazing person to have this weighing on your mind yet you just let me go on and on and on about what I am going through. I love you and am sorry you have experienced this so blatantly. People can be so hurtful I hate it! The problem is obviously not with you so just remember that! You are amazing, always have been and will continue to be!!
WHAT THE HELL!!!! J/K but seriously, what is so off color on your blog? Really I want to know so I can laugh.
is it really such a bad thing to STRIVE for excellence? Why is it that when someone does well at one thing but bad at another people get upset at them for continuing to do well at that which they do well? we all fall short at somethings and excel at others. rather than trying to drag someone down why not pull them up where you're strong and ask them to pull you up where you are weak. its just a thought.
My friends often say something similar of that's just smitty being smitty. I wouldn't let that kind of comment bug you because you know who you are and what you are doing. You know your relationship with Heavenly Father and they don't. nor do they need to act like they do. let those ones role off your shoulder.
Wow, I am so sorry Megan!! I am guessing that those two people are having some serious problems of their own to make you feel so bad. You are an amazing person so don't let other people tell you otherwise! As for your blog, hello look at the post right below, if you ask Emma about her poor little foot I don't think she would say you only portray the wonderful things about life-ouch!! Lots of Love!!
What on earth. People are crazy! I am sorry that you are feeling this way. You know what though I love you and I think you are great just the way you are.
I'd love a laugh too from finding out what was supposedly so "off color." That's crazy!! But seriously, who cares if there was. It's your blog, your personal space, and people don't have to read it if they don't want to. I think some people are just a little too sheltered...have a little color in life, be different, and stand out from the crowd! You are amazing because you are YOU. And that's why the rest of us love you! Sounds like this particular individual just has some serious issues of their own to sort through.
I've had a quote on my desk since college that I have to read often. It says, "Never be conent with someone else's definition of you. And never be content until you are happy with the unique person you are." Love ya!
Ok, so what I really wanted to do at the end of reading this entry was get together with you after all the kids were asleep and in bed and swap "you'll never believe this..." stories. I'm sure we would have some real doozies to share!
I totally know where you are coming from because I've experienced similar and I think I've turned out alright!
Want to move to Texas so we can hang out and trash talk?
Really Megan, I can't even imagine what you would have written that would have been off-color. What is so unfortunate is that it was a friend (or two) that have been making the comments. If they were truly your friends, they would accept you exactly as you are--strengths, weaknesses, good, and bad---and just love you and support you. I hope you can figure out if they really are your friends, just having a bad day (jealousy, maybe?), or if they're not.
I love that you are you, and that you can be yourself all the time. Not everyone can make that claim, and it's one (just one of the many :)) things that I love about you.
Meg. . I love you and think you are wonderful. I am so grateful for the mother you are and especially great daughter to me. I don't know what I would do without you.
Don't feel bad about 2 comments. . You are lucky. . you have so many people in your circle of life and everyone else loves you.
I wish I could run up right now and take you to lunch. . I don't want you to hurt, I love you too much.
Megan- I love to check in on the fam every once and a while and I am so surprised to read this blog entry. You are wonderful and I love to hear about your good days! You are loving and so caring! I am sure you are surprised to hear from me, but had to say I think you are pretty awesome! xoxo- Kari
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