The dreaded bed rest has been ordered.

WARNING:  MAJOR PITY PARTY RANT!

Last night I had some strange things happen that made me wonder if things were not okay with my cervix.  I called my mom to get her advice and she deferred to my brother who is staying with them right now.  The reason being is that Smitty is doing his OB rotation right now.  Well, his advice was to go to the ER.  I agreed but really didn't want to pay the ER fee.  I decided to wait it out and if things got worse I would go in.  I had horrible back contractions but they started to calm down after about an hour.  In the morning I called my OB and sure enough they had the same advice that Smitty had.  So much for saving $$$ because they sent me to the OB ER.  I was there all day and they checked me out, did an ultrasound, and decided that I needed to be on strict bed rest, at least until I see my OB. 

So, I HATE bed rest but I know it works for me.  For that I am very grateful.  The only problem is I have 5 kids 4 kids and a husband that now have me on bed rest.  And not just any bed rest but STRICT.  Plus, Elsie has her birthday party tomorrow.  It will break her heart if I cancel it. This means I now have to put my mom, Ashlee, and Jeron out even more than I was already going to.  And on top of ALL of that my house is feeling the pains of me being on "take it easy".  Bathrooms are a hazardous waste zone, the house is a dusty mess, and every room resembles the city dump just a bit.  And now I get to lay here and look at all of it...ALL DAY LONG.  The mind is going to go crazy.  Problem is I know I need to not move.  On Thursday I stood for about 25 minutes cutting out circle and then felt like I went into labor at the store.  I know that if I do anything I am putting the baby at risk.  It is just the battle I have in my head that says but this needs to be done, and Elsie needs to be watched,and now I have to let Jeff and Tara down, and Jeron can't do it all, and crap I didn't change out winter clothes for spring clothes, and is it even safe to shower in that disgusting bathroom, and there is egg on my counter that needs to be wiped off, and the laundry needs to be folded, and the baby clothes are not ready, and the nursery isn't put together, and that clutter piles there and there and there and there need to be cleaned up, and the yearbook for Ellie's class needs to be completed, and and and.  That is why bed rest kills my mind.  I can't relax because I just stress about everything that needs to be done. 

I have some great friends that have offered to come and help me but really there is NO WAY I will allow them to see the state in which my home has gotten from being on "take it easy".  That means Jeron gets to take on all of this which in and of itself make me have major anxiety.  He not only has to continue on doing what he already does but now he has to be me on top of it.  Plus, he has to deal with all of the things that have been put on the back burner.  (which is way to much) To top it all off it is March Madness and if your hubby is like mine, he disappears during this month.  I don't even mind either, but now he cant so I feel guilty.  It is my own guilt and I know that but I still feel it.  I also feel extremely BOSSY.  No matter how nicely I say it, it still is naggy to have your wife telling you what to do from start to finish.  Thank goodness my good friend helped me get some {15} freezer meals in my freezer before this happened.  At least my family will eat a good dinner.

With all of that being  said this is why I will lay here and try my best to obey the bed rest but in my head I am anything but resting...in fact all I want to do is SCREAM!!!!