WARNING: This post is not edited or changed in any way. It may offend some, this is not my intent in any way. For those of you who truly know me this is not for you. I know who you are and am thankful everyday for you in my life. The last paragraph is for one person in particular. I know how you are feeling and you need to know that is not the way my life is! I have to rant from a minute or two...Recently I have been enlightened on the way that some people view me. I really don't understand how two totally different people can view me in two totally different ways. One of them thinks that I am not very moral. One of them thinks that I am holier then Thou. I am myself all the time. I never try to be different around different groups. I had a boyfriend that whoever he was with...that is who he became. This drove me crazy. I thought how pathetic that you change everything about yourself to please someone else. He would even listen to different music with one than he would with the other. It was sad. I have always been able to be me. This is one thing that I have liked about myself.
The other day a friend of mine whom I truly respect made a comment about me having something off color on my blog...I was mortified. I wanted to know what is was so that I could take it off. Her response was just that is Megan being Megan. Like I actually like things that are wrong. OUCH! There is something about me that she doesn't know...and in a way she judged me pretty harshly.
Then on the opposite spectrum because I go to church, don't go boating on Sunday stuff like that another girl thinks I am self righteous. She has made comments that are very rude about me thinking I am like Christ. First off I am far from that and second off the blasphemy bothers me completely.
How can I come across so differently to two women? Both judgments I don't like. Neither one is the way that I view myself.
There isn't much out there that can offend me...maybe someone could take that as my moral compass is off. I don't get shocked by things but this in no way means that I think sin is okay and that I would promote it.
On the other end...I love the gospel. I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I will never be ashamed of this. I have a knowledge that they are real. I feel of them daily. I am so grateful for this blessing in my life. I hope that this never comes off as me feeling like I am better than. I am human I make mistakes...far too many I might add. I will never be perfect in this life...and if you truly know me you would know that I don't think I am better than you by any means.
We all have our own challenges, and I can't judge yours anymore than you should judge mine. Only I know how I feel and what I truly think. I hope if I have ever made anyone feel bad that you can know that I am truly sorry. Most likely I don't know because if I did it would eat at me. I have gone over this for weeks now. I needed to vent my frustrations.
Another thing...my blog only highlights my good times. Once in a while I will put something like this on, but for the most part it is the good moments. You will not hear about Jeron and me fighting(which we do), you will not hear the level in which I yell at my kids(which I do), you will not hear how many times a day I swear(which I do), you will not hear how my house is messy(which it is). My life is not sunshine and roses all the time. If you are reading my blog this is not all there is to me. I have bad times, horrible times, and maybe I will post about them but most likely not. So quit hearing birds chirping and sweet melody playing when you think of my "perfect life". Don't compare your worst self to my best self.